RELATIONAL THERAPY

Issues I specialise in working with

Issues to do with self-esteem

In our fast paced, competitive and achievement oriented society, we all wonder sometimes whether we are good enough.
Sometimes the feelings of shame, guilt or the longing for approval that we carry around without awareness, lead us to behaviours of pleasing somebody, anybody, right away...because the fear of being terribly flawed, or somehow inadequate, can take away your personal power, and make you want to hide, or to prove yourself endlessly, until exhaustion.  If you feel at a standstill, endlessly procrastinating or escaping into troublesome relationships or behaviours, counselling together can help you find the insights, courage and willpower to break out of the patterns that are holding you back from living the life you want to live.

Grief, loss, and bereavement

When we lose somebody close and dear to us, either because of a relationship ending or because the person has passed away, suffering can sometimes feel unbearable. Sharing the pain with a counsellor can help you to release some of the burden, by feeling heard and seen. Complex feelings might arise, such as anger, resentment, regret, jealousy, wishing things could be different, even denial of the loss, feeling lost yourself, sometimes even losing your personal identity and your purpose. You are not alone, and I have experience in helping you to navigate these complex, painful feelings, and thoughts.  

Navigating the impact of trauma

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Trauma is a complex field in the therapeutic environment. There is

trauma caused by a single terrible event, and also complex trauma, fed by historic neglect, abuse or abandonment and triggered by your present circumstances.

Feelings of panic, repetitive nightmares, flash-backs, perpetual restlessness, an inability to control worrying thoughts, feelings of not belonging , confusion about who you are, harmful relationships, struggling with addictions, thoughts of worthlessness and self-harm, are signs of a potentially traumatic life event or set of events. Whilst I cannot diagnose any condition, as a counsellor I can help you to explore your feelings confidentially and help you make sense of your suffering, so you can find a peaceful way of living. Trauma thrives on suppressed emotions! If we bravely explore and express our suffering in a safe environment, our experience can transform in a beautiful door to compassionate living and lead us to personal freedom.

Relationship problems

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Relationships are a constant process of change, whether it’s with your boss, your partner, your friends or with your child. If you’re struggling in relationships, it is probably because of their inbuilt tensions. In counselling together we can explore these tensions and find a way forward.

Relating to other people has as a base the way we primarily relate to ourselves. We are born in relationships are we can thrive in them too if we can understand each other and relate in healthy ways to one another. Sometimes the pain of our past is mirrored in the present moment by the behaviour of someone we love, so we need a non-judgemental and caring person to help us reconnect to our truth.

Issues arising from discrimination or from being different

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When we struggle to feel accepted for who we are, our basic sense of safety is challenged. We feel alienated and lonely. Love is what unites us, but being loved is not the same thing as feeling loved. I am here for you with an open heart and a listening ear if you're different, in any way, and you need to feel like you belong.

I work to the BACP's  code of ethics for counselling and psychotherapy and I am trained to work with issues of difference and diversity.

"...Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here." From 'Desiderata' by Marx Ehrmann, 1927.

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